Your Inner YES
A Daily Practice to Live Your Deepest YES
ABOUT
Aneesah Wilhelmstätter is a creativity and creative change coach, self-taught artist, non-fiction author and creator of coaching tools. She comes from a strong therapeutic background, having trained and worked as a Clinical Social Worker in South Africa. Aneesah is passionate about facilitating mindfulness as an instrument for leading positive change.
I imagine that Yes is the only living thing.
E.E. CUMMINGS
Resources
You will find on this page resources I personally compile that represent invaluable insights, life lessons learned and tools and practices to support learning, expansion of your experiences and growth.
THE BOOK
Getting to YES with Yourself
DISCLAIMER: this book guide is not affiliated with or endorsed by the publisher or author, and you will undoubtedly benefit from purchasing and reading the full book that offers extensive supplementary practices and tools.
The Inner YES Method
While the home page of Creative Change Coaching represents the Hero’s Journey as a method to get to YES with yourself, the Inner YES Method, as practiced by William Ury and offered in his book Getting to YES with Yourself: How to Get What you Truly Want, is the resource I am offering here.
This is in the form of a book summary highlighting the method itself, as well as some supporting practices and ideas.
WRITING:
I am a self-taught artist, non-fiction writer and creator of practice tools for therapists, coaches and their clients.
BOOKS
A list of published practices will be posted here. You can also find them on the landing page of Creative Change Coaching.
| SUMMARY AND PRACTICE GUIDE OF GETTING TO YES WITH YOURSELF How to Get What You Truly Want William Ury Harper House, 2015, 194 PAGES by Aneesah Wilhelmstätter © 2022, Creative Change Coaching |  |
| 10 Big Ideas Expanded on in the Book | |
| The First Negotiation The why behind every negotiation. | Stay in the Zone How to move from resistance to acceptance. |
| The INNER YES Method The six steps to getting to any YES | Respect Them Even If How to move from exclusion to inclusion. |
| Put Yourself in Your Shoes How to move from self-judgment to self-understanding | Give & Receive How to move from win-lose to win-win-win – the three “yeses” for true happiness. |
| Develop Your Inner BATNA How to move from blame to self-responsibility with one crucial agreement. | Expand the Pie The heroic seventh step that is hiding in plain sight! |
| Reframe Your Picture How to move from unfriendly to friendly. | *AWE: The Four ArchetypesYES And What Else – a bonus insight |
DISCLAIMER: this book guide is not affiliated with or endorsed by the publisher or author, and you will undoubtedly benefit from purchasing and reading the full book that offers extensive supplementary practices and tools.
What You’ll Get to Taste in these 10 Ideas
The First Negotiation
Have you ever noticed how when stressed, it’s so easy to default to judging yourself, others and circumstances? When life gets challenging, how often do you find that your usual reaction is resistance? William Ury has noticed that there are 3 primary A’s of reactivity – avoidance, accommodation and attack.. It’s not unusual for us, when life is not going our way, to attempt to control others and circumstances — and this comes at a great cost.
We become preoccupied with blaming circumstances and others, feel self-righteous and even exonerated from having to do anything towards making any creative changes to support our wellbeing and live our potential. Reactivity such as this, William tells us, amounts to saying no to self, no to life and no to others.
In the bestselling Getting to Yes with Yourself, this leading expert and cofounder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation shines a light on the many ways we reactively make choices that do all but serve our own true interests.
He highlights this insight by echoing the words of President Theodore Roosevelt:
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.
President Theodore Roosevelt
The premise of the book is that the greatest obstacle to successful agreements and satisfying relations is not the other side. The biggest obstacle is actually the person we look at in the mirror, ourselves! This natural tendency to reactivity that is our greatest obstacle is also a great opportunity, Ury argues that we can learn to understand and influence ourselves first, and in so doing, we can lay the groundwork for understanding and influencing others.
The INNER YES Method
William builds on the premise that we are by nature, our own biggest adversary and obstacle, and that we need to go through this obstacle if we are to stand a chance at getting what we really want and at the same time dealing with the needs of others. This veteran mediator has devoted three and a half decades of his life, working on exactly this dilemma. The INNER YES Method is the culmination of this venture. This first step in any negotiation, conflict or difficult conversation is a system of self-inquiry — a 6-step self transformational daily practice to negotiate this obstacle and resolve this dilemma in a life affirming way.
All I Do is Win-Win-Win!
Thus we are guided through the bedrock negotiation necessary to tap into our power to get what we want in life. This summary features, step-by-step, the experiential practices to build your negotiation muscles to lead creative change in all areas of your life. Each line of self-inquiry builds harmoniously upon the previous ones, to help us change our mindset, i.e. the inner game, so that we can change the outer game from win-lose to win-win-win.
Let him who would move the world, first move himself.
~SOCRATES
~SOCRATES
In Getting to Yes with Yourself, William Ury suggests these six simple, provocative and challenging steps to address each of the six inner obstacles that get in the way of us becoming our own worthiest ally.
SAMPLE: Step 1: Put Yourself in Your Shoes
About the Author
William Ury is the co–founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation, where he directs the Project on Preventing War. One of the world’s leading negotiation specialists, his past clients include dozens of Fortune 500 companies as well as the White House and Pentagon. Ury received his B.A. from Yale and a Ph.D. in Anthropology from Harvard. His books Getting to YES and Getting Past No have sold more than five million copies worldwide.
About the Summary Author
Aneesah Wilhelmstätter is a creativity and creative change coach, self-taught artist, non-fiction author and creator of coaching tools. She comes from a strong therapeutic background, having trained and worked as a Clinical Social Worker in South Africa. Aneesah is passionate about facilitating mindfulness as an instrument for leading positive change.
Online:
Thank you for reading this summary and hopefully you will integrate this phenomenal practice into your life until it becomes your ingrained attitude… beyond shifting into new states of being and more about cultivating this as an enduring trait.
Creative Change Coaching 